sAliva tHeorY

“I don’t fear lions, but goats make me panic

“They chew on grass”

“They are all ordered to chew. Wish you a happy married goat life”

“But i hate everybody, like how i hate my periods

“Change the circle with different axis, union and intersection both we need. Let me smell your hair”

“I use eggs and milk cream”

“I am vegan. I don’t touch even egg”

“But then how will I have soft silky shiny pantene hair”, She gave him a aphrodisiac smile.

“Damn! you got a fucking sexy nose”

He kissed her nose and made it wet.

“Yuck! your saliva!”

“Yeah! it’s mine. Soften wet”

“What’s the difference between an intellectual and pseudo intellectual?”

“Do you have any problem?!  you always change the topic”

“Answer me baby”, She put her hands around his shoulder.

“There is no such thing called intellectual. Give me a name was or is an intellectual”

“Marx”

“One of the worst economic fallacies around is the labor theory of value. Have you read Ayn Rand’s Capitalism”

“OK, now you are trapped. Ayn Rand”

“Laissez Faire capitalism already exists before her”

“Akira Kurosawa”

“Kurosawa is the one of the crucial reason for the high budget shit in Hollywood”

“Aldous Huxley”

“His parapsychology was a biggest joke and he was addicted to LSD

“Arundhati Roy”

He laughed, he laughed and he laughed.

“An imitator of  Noam Chomsky in political column”

“Ambedkar”

“A good professor. But still the dalits are controlled by the iron fist

“Jacques Derrida”

“He failed to deconstruct the deconstruction”

kafka

Absurdity, but i like him for that reason”

“Bertolt Brecht”

“Just another theater student. I couldn’t notice anything ace. And then, Van Gogh really a scrabbler, Doli was a circus joker, I hate Neruda for writing an ode to the death of  Stalin, Salman Rushdie is an item number dancer, If you know Ken Wilber then forget Foucault, Shakespeare was a racist, Hitchcock who tried to hide his fears and depressed by inferiority complex, someone told that Ramakrishna Paramahamsa was into homoerotism, Jesus been used by his followers like call center executive, Allah considered as a license to kill. You know what happened to the Tutsis?, you are not a dildo to satisfy everyone.”

“Please stop,  I am scared”

“You are a bad liar”

“I am a good actress”

“Most of the actresses are interested or made to show their armpits and distorted belly button”

“I knew it”

“Who isn’t? Kill their divine cows. If you don’t want to, smell the intellectual farts, ask your so called elitist mob to do the same. why should i follow these morons? I will find my path, my sun, my moon, my stars”

“But you are moving with them”

“Yes, I read them. I listen to them. I am curious to see skeletons in a museum. I like to see Einstein’s small cute brain”

“I will chop you with my nails”

“let me tell you a true story, Once upon a time, no, before some couple of years, can’t say like that, but i can remember something like that happened yesterday. A person got introduced to me as a college mate, who later referred me to his company. He is the first person who taught me how to pour beer into a mug, We both watched smut films in internet cafe. He used to quote someones philosophy that really made my ears tired. His whole servile life is tied up with others ideologies and not even got the moxie to think out of those. But he really tried hard to maintain his image in front of others like an intellectual. When i had a popcorn conversation with one of his friend, i revealed that this person taught me to drink beer. My statement gave a surprise to his friend who really decided that i was lying and still believes he hasn’t used any kind of alcohol .I guess, Now he might have stopped. This made me to realize how this guy submitted his disgusting life with others. I started to draw a line in between us to put an end because of his bootlicking attitude. Once he asked me, “Can a person become a writer if he register his name in the writers association?”, Now, you can judge his unobtrusive demeanor. Most of the dogs like to lick their own sodden pus from wound. Am I a dog? Is he a dog? Is everyone a dog? Not really a polemics.”

“Is it a self-aggrandizement? Dude! don’t give me the shit, You are an epileptic person

“Can’t you see that? look! beliefs are like bungholes, everyone’s got one.

She jumped on him and stitched his lips by her teeth.

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